{"id":111,"date":"2014-03-05T17:57:18","date_gmt":"2014-03-05T17:57:18","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/catherine.klatzker.com\/?p=111"},"modified":"2020-10-23T19:40:37","modified_gmt":"2020-10-23T19:40:37","slug":"111","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/catherine.klatzker.com\/?p=111","title":{"rendered":"Transparent"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>I have just started reading Jill Bialosky&#8217;s stunning <a href=\"https:\/\/books.google.com\/books\/about\/History_of_a_Suicide.html?id=2OacwRaPMXcC\"><em>History of a Suicide<\/em><\/a> and already, only ten pages in, I sense her sister&#8217;s feelings as inescapable. Clearly, I am identifying more than I should with the woman who took her own life. At one time, I feared that Cat, my angry and unpredictable Part, would kill me when I wasn&#8217;t paying attention. She gave me plenty of cause to think that. Then I would have the splintering, shattering sensations of\u00a0<em>who am I?\u00a0<\/em> Because it&#8217;s so <em>settled<\/em> to decide to die, it drops into place so neatly and extinguishes the terror so explicitly. It&#8217;s such an obvious, happy solution. It also scares the shit out of me,\u00a0<em>this me,\u00a0<\/em>the not-Cat me. This part knows that no outside person, no family member can ever comprehend the breadth of that experience or save my life. As much as I love them, they were irrelevant to my predicament. When our loved ones intuit that their words are empty and they cannot pierce our emotional pain, they are right. I have so much sorrow now for the person I was, who knew she had to be alone, and for all those who still are.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>I have just started reading Jill Bialosky&#8217;s stunning History of a Suicide and already, only ten pages in, I sense her sister&#8217;s feelings as inescapable. Clearly, I am identifying more than I should with the woman who took her own &hellip;<\/p>\n<p class=\"read-more\"> <a class=\"more-link\" href=\"https:\/\/catherine.klatzker.com\/?p=111\"> <span class=\"screen-reader-text\">Transparent<\/span> Read More &raquo;<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[5],"class_list":["post-111","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-suicide"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/catherine.klatzker.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/111","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/catherine.klatzker.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/catherine.klatzker.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/catherine.klatzker.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/catherine.klatzker.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=111"}],"version-history":[{"count":10,"href":"https:\/\/catherine.klatzker.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/111\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":869,"href":"https:\/\/catherine.klatzker.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/111\/revisions\/869"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/catherine.klatzker.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=111"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/catherine.klatzker.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=111"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/catherine.klatzker.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=111"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}