The little blackbird catches my eye, hurtling purposefully toward the slender tip of a spiky desert agave to my left. He’s going to smash into the side of the building, I think, but he snags the top of the succulent—an …

Flight Read more »

Forty-four years of marriage has its own rhythm. It’s seeing your husband and thinking, I know you. It’s finding value—lots of it—in difference. It’s laughing the easiest and the longest together. It’s knowing the ways that marriage is both less …

Forty-four Years Read more »

HERE’S WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU’RE WAITING FOR MORE TEST RESULTS FOR THE SUSPICIOUS SHADOW ON YOUR HUSBAND’S CHEST X-RAY: You give money to homeless people who say they want food. You stick around to talk to them when they seem …

Unremarkable Read more »

In her book about living with schizophrenia, The Center Cannot Hold, Elyn R. Saks speaks of how her psychosis served to protect her from painful thoughts and feelings, how the unconscious mind served as a defender of the conscious mind …

Commonalities Read more »

“Is it in the Valley of Remembrance?” I asked. “No, it’s more east, to the right of the Valley,” Steve said. “Toward the Matriarchs?” “Yes, I think it’s toward the Court of the Matriarchs,” he answered, “in Sunland Gardens.” When …

Part of This Tree Read more »

We have escaped from Mitzrayim.  For all the right reasons—the insights, and values, and choices we’ve made have allowed us to leave. I knew what I was doing when I left my cousins and brothers and sisters behind in the …

Passover 5775 Read more »

It’s not that everyone is someone important at IKAR, my synagogue; it’s that everyone is someone. At the end of February, I showed up for Shabbat services, mostly because honoring our friends’ fiftieth anniversary was important to me, even though …

Going to shul Read more »

The first group I belonged to, my family, taught me how unsafe they were and I’ve performed poorly in groups ever since, unless I’m leading them. Even then, I stifle so much fear. This has been true my whole life. …

Exceptions Read more »